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Dream Programming Environment

"Compared with what could be known, we have very, very small heads."
"Syntax is the Vietnam of programming languages."
"A language that doesn't affect the way you think about programming is not worth knowing."
"Learn Haskell you Microsoft hippies." (I think that was said before it became ironic.)
"To think deeply and well about iterative, imperative programming you need to be a Dijkstra, and even then the results are very ugly. Whereas other programming paradigms do afford that kind of thinking better."

(I put together a little laundry list of desires.) I am getting really sick and tired of developing using tools from, what, like the 50's or something? Anything with a slow, required, compilation step sucks! Also, it seems like language creators (see the miscellanea in the long list below) either don't actually know anything about generics, co vs. contra variance, type vs. implementation inheritance, etc., or they made strange choices because they thought the general programming public couldn't handle the knowledge and responsibility? Weird. Well, still, there are some pretty crazy cool languages out there, though: Mercury (doesn't yet have a quality Java or .Net back-end), Arc, (but i want static type inference/checking!), Merd (no 'e'? :-), Clean (gave up on it as soon as i saw there was no debugger), O'Caml (nowhere near portable enough in my experiences), Haskell (too much !%$@<<=, and i despise whitespace-sensitive indentation, no debugger?), Timber (will it ever be released? will it have a debugger? news at 11), Nice (lacking fancy automatic type inference on the order of Scala, but has optional types and nice sugar), Scala (over the top type annotations), Eiffel (love that contract idea, hate that Alogl syntax) and Qi (just scary Lisp drugs, man!).

Whining Ensues